Poetgirl

I am the feminine poiema

My late husband was a seer and a namer. He was a master at naming a thing. If you ever got a chance to open up to him and speak about what was going on inside you, you know of what I am referring to because most likely you experienced his seeing of you and naming you just right. With me, over the course of our 46 years together he named me and gave me many nicknames. He seemed to love doing so, even before we were married, when we were friends he named me-he called me his “truth”, his “counter”, and then his “lily among the thorns” when we first started dating and after we married his “home”. He would say, wherever you are is my home. But, I digress, I am here to tell you why I am starting this Substack and why it’s called Poetgirl. He was the one who nicknamed me poetgirl. He gave that name in our 9th year of marriage. Here’s how it happened, the short story goes like this, he asked to read my diary, I said yes, read at your own risk, it's mostly about you and mostly not positive. I was anxious about seeing his face when he came out of the study, nervously waiting and preparing for feeling shame and a possible verbal fight from me trying to explain what I wrote. Even now, as I write this, I can still see his face walking towards me down the hall in the Rock House where we lived, he was grinning and blurted out "you're my poetgirl!" Not at all what I expected to receive and like I said, he was a master at naming. I tremble as I try to live into that name now, feeling like I’ve not done it so well, but in earnest, here I am, with his smile and his words, may they be real in this time and in this place, for you my dear readers.

I use the name he gave me for this space in honor to him and his good and seeing heart that it may inspire me to live and share more fully my love of words and capture the feminine reality, which is all he ever wanted from me, to share my heart.